You never befriend someone with the intention of losing them. This is true for almost every relationship in life. When it feels as though you are truly compatible with someone you will do anything in your power to keep them in your life. But what happens when circumstances change? What happens when you live in different cities now? What happens when you are both growing in different directions? The truth is, some friends are meant to be temporary, and while this is perfectly normal, it does not mean that it is anywhere near easy. Remember, this person was once your friend, and you once shared your deepest secrets with them and prioritised them in your life. Even though it may feel like an empty space where that person might once have been, there is an opportunity for growth in this. Every relationships leaves some type of imprint on our life, and whether that be positive or negative, we can use it to be a better person and friend towards others in the future.
Although it can be difficult to accept, sometimes people are only meant to be in our lives to teach us a lesson and some are only meant to be in our lives for a certain season of our lives. By understanding that it is not only impossible to keep every single friend that you have made throughout your life, but it might be beneficial to end some of them, you will be able to free yourself from any negative relationships in your life. I, too, have lost a few friends as I have gotten older, and I have a few lessons that I would like to share. So, here are a few things to remember in this time:
- Some People Are Only Meant to Teach You a Lesson
If you’ve ever experienced a falling-out with a friend on bad terms, you might have asked yourself why it had to happen. Why did things have to end so poorly? While you might never have full closure in this question, it is important to remind yourself of ANY good that you can take out of the situation. Instead of asking “Why did they do that?,” ask, “What can I learn from this?” If you continue to ask yourself about the specifics of the situation, you will start running yourself in circles. All that you can do is take these lessons, learn how they impacted you, and take the positive aspects of the relationship with you into the future. Unfortunately, we will not always be afforded the exact reasons why someone did something bad to us. Despite this, what we CAN do is take the good with us. You will learn from this, and you will grow from it.
- Some People are Only Meant to be in Your Life During a Certain Season
Sometimes losing a friend doesn’t happen due to any bad events or feelings. Sometimes things might just fizzle out between the two of you. If this seems to be the case, it is important to remind yourself that some people are only meant to be there for certain seasons of your life. IT might be possible that some people aren’t meant to support you through every single phase of your life, but that they are meant to help you through whatever stage you are in right now. This isn’t a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean that anything bad has to happen that causes the two of you to drift apart. You can look at it as a friend who was meant to help you through a certain stage of your life. We do this in our lives all the time with work friends, class friends, etc. For instance, many of you might have high school friends that you might not keep constant contact with, but it isn’t for any reason. The two of you were great together in high school, but as the two of you got older you began focusing on different things, which leads me into the next point.
- People Change, and What We Want Changes With Us
Ultimately, people change as they get older, including you. What you want will change, and who you choose to surround yourself with reflects this. Sometimes it can feel confusing to think that not everyone in your life right now is supposed to be there for forever, but just be thankful that y’all align right now. Just because not every friendship lasts forever doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have any friends, because friendship is one of the most important fascets of your life. Friends will introduce you to new hobbies, they will console you in trying times, they will inspire you, and sometimes they will hurt your feelings. Nothing good in life comes without struggle. It is my hope that you will remember these key things when you find yourself questioning the end of a friendship and that you try to stay positive. By removing yourself from negative emotions, you are ultimately opening the door to personal growth.
In conclusion, losing a friend is something that many of us go through, but that does not make it any easier. Whether it be on good terms or bad terms, it can be very difficult to adjust to the absence of someone that was once so influential in your life. It might feel as though you can’t trust anyone The good news is, you are going to make it through. Being in this space will allow you to reassess what you want in relationships too. This introspection will allow you to develop a better sense of self. So, yes, you are going to learn from this relationship, and you are going to be so much better by the end of it. Eventually, you will not have any ill feelings when you think of your old friend. In fact, you will remember the good times and be thankful that you, in that moment, were able to experience the beauty of friendship.
